Today is March 5th. Lauren is at her very first sleepover. She was so nervous and excited at the same time. I wish you could have been here to share this milestone with us. You are in my heart every minute of the day and I miss you so much.

Today is February 1st, 2016. You've been gone almost a year. I can't believe I've survived. I'm still not convinced that I'll make it, but I guess I have no choice. Dad's birthday is coming. I didn't think it would bother me this year, but I think it is. I just miss you. That's really all I can say at this point. I miss you and I've never been so hurt in my life. I had a few days where I felt almost normal, but I still can't sleep. I think the closer it gets to the one-year mark, the harder it's going to be.

I am really struggling to function right now. I miss you and I have no motivation to do anything. My birthday is a week away and I can't believe you're not here to share it with me. I watched my first awards show the other night without you. I missed being able to talk to you about the gowns and couldn't stop thinking about all the fun we used to have watching them. We would call each other a hundred times to talk about the dresses. I feel very lost right now and I just miss you and dad so much. I feel absolutely broken.